Friday, November 25, 2011
What's up with those Minivan Stencils?
So while I was driving last week I saw a minivan. Well, that’s not my point, I see minivans all the time and in fact my wife drives one. Sometimes she lets me drive it to. So I see this minivan, it’s a Honda Odyssey and it has the required AYSO sticker on the bumper. Well, it’s not really a bumper anymore, not like they used to be back in the day, all chrome and shiny. Now they are plastic and bend and crack and the slightest bump, just as designed and we are all safer. But besides the AYSO sticker and the new plastic bumpers this car had one of those stencils on the rear window. You know, white stencil of a family. This particular one had a mother and a father, a son, two daughters, three dogs and a cat. That’s a pretty big family. Someday I want to get one of these for my car. It’s pretty cool. Like how fighter pilots marked their planes back in World War One and World War Two. Do they still do that now?
But I have a few questions.
First of all, where do I get the stickers?
Second of all, do I have to run over all of the people at once or can I add them one at a time? Like if you get the mother but the dad ducks out of the way, do you have to go back and get the same dad, or can you get a different one? And the dogs, that should be easy. Do they have bird ones? I know I’ve gotten a bird or two in my life, and a squirrel once, but I didn’t even see him. I tell you, I can get the kids but I’m going to feel real bad about it. I think I’m going to find one of those schools where the send the bad kids and trying to get them after class, or maybe hang out near juvenile hall and take out some young offender instead of one of those good kids. And how do people do this without getting caught? I mean, they put them right on their car, it should be so easy for the cops to just pull them over as soon as they see the stencil on the car.
Wait, what? Those are their kids? Their pets? Not kills?
Wow, do I feel dumb now. That makes a lot more sense. Just forget I ever brought this up. Really, it’s just a total misunderstanding. I am truly, truly sorry.
Thanks for reading.