Overheard at #AWP19 - Portland, OR

Greetings from Portland!

I spent last week in Portland, Oregon for the annual AWP conference, which is full of panels, craft workshops, the AWP book fair, friends, fun, karaoke, coffee, readings, every skit from the TV show Portlandia and just about anything else you can cram into a three day conference. My favorite thing to do around writers is simply to listen and write down what they say. Here are some  things I heard in Portland.

Things Overhead at #AWP19 in Portland

“I feel so guilty when I print color.”


“Nothing is like being in prison but except being in prison.”

Tayari Jones, author of "An American Marriage" speaks at AWP

“I find it easier to write mean women.”


“I didn’t like your character, so I didn’t want to read it.”

“You’re not having brunch with my character!”


“Pay special attention to the last lines.”

“It’s okay to take a water break.”

“It’s a beautiful day for Jesus.”

“I need coffee.”

“Is that Matt Bell?”

“Where’s Tanzer?”

“What are you working on?”

“Are you a poet? You look like a poet. Fiction? Really? You look like a poet?”

“This is a microscopic picture of my urine."

“What does a bird do?”

“Are you sure you’re not a poet? I mean, you dress like a poet.”

“Where did you get your MFA?”

“Just write.”

“I’m a poet scientist.”

“It’s legal here, right?”

“What was the question?”

“Can you hear me?”
“No.”
Gets slightly closer to the microphone but still too far away.
“How about now?”

“The New York houses….”

“The New York Publishing world…”

Beech Street Salon

“Is your coffee carbon neutral?”

“I can’t remember who said it and I’m totally going to mess it up but <insert any quote about writing>”

“The great writer…”

“The great poet…"

“The fabulous writer…”

“The terrific writer…”

“Okay, we have one more reader.”

“What do you write?”

“You look like just like this guy I went to high school with.”

“I need coffee.”

“Seriously, you’re not a poet?”

“Do you have gum?”

“It’s a drabble story.”

Sometimes you just gotta stretch

“I don’t believe in writer’s block.”


“Is hand job one word or two?”

“It’s better than Instagram.”

“I have Uber on my phone now.”

“Do you teach?"
"Oh, god, no.”

“I can’t remember who said this, but it’s something like <totally messes up quote about writing>”

"No, really, you must be a poet. Look at your scarf."

"Did you go to Powells?"




That's all I've got. Hopefully there will be more words of wisdom at AWP20 in San Antonio, Texas next year.

Thanks for reading!

This is AWP19 - Photo Credit Jeff Pfaller