Listen, it could just as easily be Moving Pictures, often regarded as Rush's best album. Or it could be their self-title first album, the rawness of a new band who showed hints of Led Zeppelin. Or, for me, Grace Under Pressure, the 1984 album which was my introduction to Rush. Or Roll the Bones, the first Rush album I bought when it came out and which featured prominently in my life during my junior year of high school (ask the Buffalo Grove High School Cross Country Team). Or Counterparts in 1993, which came out the same day as Pearl Jam's Vs (I stood in line at Tower Records at midnight on release day, outnumbered by Pearl Jam fans 25 to 1) . Or the epic 2112. Or the awesomeness of Signals and the first notes of Subdivisions. Or even Fly By Night, with Geddy screeching the title song.
You see, when Rush is your favorite band, it's hard to pick just one. It changes all the time, sometimes daily.
But there's something about Clockwork Angels.
The nineteenth and final studio album from my favorite band came out on June 12, 2012 (happy birthday, Sis). A concept album with a themed story running through all off the songs. The theme, well, I'll get Kevin J. Anderson, a friend of Neil Peart, describe it (Anderson wrote a novelization of the album):
"In a young man's quest to follow his dreams, he is caught between the grandiose forces of order and chaos. He travels across a lavish and colorful world of steampunk, and alchemy, with lost cities, pirates, anarchists, exotic caravans, and a rigid watchmaker who imposes precision on every aspect of daily life."
Whew.
Just like the last ten or so Rush albums, every Rush fan bought it on release day, me included, and it hit number 2 on the Billboard Charts. I eagerly listened to it several times the first few days, between work, home, kids, and whatever the else we had going on (I find it is much harder to focus on listening to music now that when I was younger). And after a few listens, it didn't really stick. I put the album to the side for a little while.
Then the tour started. Rush was set to play the United Center on September 15 2012. ACK! I had a wedding so I missed a Rush show in Chicago for the first time since the late 80s. But I couldn't not see Rush, so my brother and I secured tickets to the show in Sta. Louis the next weekend.
We listened to Clockwork Angels a few times on the way down, and I started getting more into it. But it was really the show that cemented my love of the album. Rush added a ten piece string ensemble to play with them on this tour, and this was not a sit properly with perfect posture string section. This was a stand-up, rock your face off string section, playing the string parts from the songs on the album.
As the story unfolds through the songs, Rush is at their best. The blistering pace of The Anarchist and Carnies, the quiet sadness of rejection in The Halo Effect, the bass riff that opens the blistering Headlong Flight, seven minutes and twenty seconds of Rush as it's rocking finest, as the narrator looks back his adventures:
"I wish that I could live it all again."
And then finally the album's closer, The Garden.
Where to start? The opening, just Geddy's bass accompanied by a string section, then Alex joining on guitar as Geddy sings. A full verse and chorus before Neil's drums join the song. Looking back on the past, what is the future. It can best be told by the song notes from the album:
"There is a metaphorical garden in the acts and attitudes of a person's life, and the treasures of that garden are love and respect. I have come to realize that the gathering of love and respect- from others and myself- has been the real quest of my life."
I could quote the entire song here. It's almost as if Neil knew that would be the last song he every wrote. The last lines?
The future disappears into memory
With only a moment between
Forever dwells in that moment
Hope is what remains to be seen
Starting in 2004 with the R30 Tour, it felt like every Rush show I went to could be the last. So I started seeing them in other places besides Chicago. I dragged my family to Colorado so I could see Rush at Red Rocks. I had a friend in Dallas who invited me to shows there. Milwaukee was close. My brother and I went to St. Louis, too.
The last of the 32 Rush shows I attended was June 12, 2015 at the United Center. I didn't think it would be the last but it was one of the best I'd ever seen. That tour still had six weeks of dates and I was hoping they would come back the next spring. I happened to be in Los Angeles during the last two shows, one in Irvine and the final show at the Forum in LA. I considered staying another day and scoring a ticket, but I didn't. Knowing what I know now, I should have.
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R40 in St. Louis, MO, May 2015
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It took a few years, but by 2018 Rush said they were done. On January 7, 2020, Neil Peart died from glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer that he had been battling for three and half years. In typical Neil Peart fashion, the world didn't find out until three days later when the band announced Neil's death on their website. It was hard to reconcile the death of someone I'd never met in person but who I felt I knew. I re-read Neil's book "The Ghost Rider" written from the dark place he was in after his daughter and wife both died in a period of nine months. I listened to a lot of Rush. 2020 has pretty much been a shit show from the get go. At least there is still music.
"Now we must tend to our garden."
Thanks for reading
