Monday, January 16, 2023

Resolutions for the rest of the world

Only suckers make resolutions that start on January 1st. You just spent a night celebrating the end of the old year and the beginning of the new year by drinking too much, staying up too late, and making some bad decisions along the way while ensure that you wake up on New Year's Day with a headache and a pile of regret. Maybe you should give it a day before throwing new rules upon yourself. Or wait a couple weeks before starting. Like me.

Blah, blah, blah!

Listen, I’m perfect. Beside losing about thirteen pounds and writing every day and maybe posting on this blog with some regularity, there’s nothing I need to work on in 2023. I’m me and I’m cool with that. But the world wants resolutions so here’s my resolutions. For the rest of the world.

Drive Better

The Covid-19 pandemic has eroded driving skills around the world. In 2023, all drivers should resolve to not leave three full car lengths between their car and the car in front of them at stop lights. I know this gives you a chance to take a quick look at a Tik-Tok video while waiting for the light to turn green, but you really don’t need that much space. You are just pushing the line of traffic further back and if you are in a left turn lane you are making it worse since fewer cars can get into the turn lane and then they back up the lanes that are going straight and then I get stuck at the light right by the damn Costco with the double left turn lane because you didn’t move up. Inch up a little. It’s okay. And, really, just put the phone down. Seriously. Whatever it is, it can probably wait until you get where you are going. And if it can’t, get off the road.

Move the Line Inside

Not all of these will be about lining up but since we seem to spend more time in line that just about anything else in life, when did we start lining up outside the bathroom at sporting events to use the toilet? Men, it’s okay. Move in a little. Seriously. The guy in front of you doesn’t need eight feet of space to be comfortable enough to get a good stream going. The bathroom lines at the United Center in Chicago are wrapping from one set of bathrooms to the other! In 2023, resolve to move into the bathroom.  Ladies, I’m not sure if this is a problem in your bathrooms, too, but you should resolve to make sure it doesn’t happen in 2023!

We’ll do it live!

Dawes live in San Diego, CA.
Streaming is cool. There are so many viewing options and channels on cable and streaming services that have the time I want to find something new to watch I spend a half hour trying to find something to watch and then I give up and turn everything off. In 2023 let’s all resolve to go see more live events. Go to a concert, go see a play, a musical, a comedy show. Hell, go to a movie theater and see a show.  You couldn’t get tickets to Taylor Swift? Go see a string quartet performing Taylor Swift shows? Your local bar, brewery or restaurant probably has live music a couple nights a week. If it doesn’t, find one that does. Take your kids to a show. Our family is proud new subscribers to Marriott’s Lincolnshire Theater, which gives us five musicals to see in 2023. Get out from behind your screen and go see some live entertainment. With other people even!

Look Up

Last year I was obsessed with averaging 12,000 steps a day. Some nights before bed when I needed to pull the car into the driveway, I would take a short walk a few houses down the street just to get some extra steps. Some of those nights I ended up staring up at the sky and if I was lucky and it was clear out, I’d stare at the stars for a few minutes. I have vivid memories of being outside at night in high school and staring up at the stars, contemplating life (or just wondering why Amy Norris didn’t like me as much as I liked her). I don’t do that anymore (staring at the stars or wondering about why Amy Norris didn’t like me as much as I liked her). In 2023, let’s all resolve to look up at the stars and pondering our place in this vast universe. For a brief moment, the fact that Amy Norris doesn’t like us as much as we like her will seem insignificant. Feel free to substitute whatever burden you are carrying for Amy Norris. (My youngest got a telescope for Christmas this year. We've had all of twelve minutes of clear skies since Christmas so right now it's just a piece of furniture, but he can't wait to see some stars. One of these nights. Maybe).

And that’s all there is. Thanks for reading and if you are still on target with any of your New Year's resolutions, congratulations. If you are on target for all of them, you are probably lying.


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Resolutions for the rest of the world

Only suckers make resolutions that start on January 1 st . You just spent a night celebrating the end of the old year and the beginning of t...