Only suckers make resolutions that start on January 1st. You just spent a night celebrating the end of the old year and the beginning of the new year by drinking too much, staying up too late, and making some bad decisions along the way while ensure that you wake up on New Year's Day with a headache and a pile of regret. Maybe you should give it a day before throwing new rules upon yourself. Or wait a couple weeks before starting. Like me.
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| Blah, blah, blah! |
Listen, I’m perfect. Beside losing about thirteen pounds and
writing every day and maybe posting on this blog with some regularity, there’s
nothing I need to work on in 2023. I’m me and I’m cool with that. But the world
wants resolutions so here’s my resolutions. For the rest of the world.
Drive Better
The Covid-19 pandemic has eroded driving skills around the
world. In 2023, all drivers should resolve to not leave three full car lengths
between their car and the car in front of them at stop lights. I know this
gives you a chance to take a quick look at a Tik-Tok video while waiting for
the light to turn green, but you really don’t need that much space. You are just
pushing the line of traffic further back and if you are in a left turn lane you
are making it worse since fewer cars can get into the turn lane and then they
back up the lanes that are going straight and then I get stuck at the light
right by the damn Costco with the double left turn lane because you didn’t move
up. Inch up a little. It’s okay. And, really, just put the phone down.
Seriously. Whatever it is, it can probably wait until you get where you are
going. And if it can’t, get off the road.
Move the Line Inside
Not all of these will be about lining up but since we seem
to spend more time in line that just about anything else in life, when did we
start lining up outside the bathroom at sporting events to use the toilet? Men,
it’s okay. Move in a little. Seriously. The guy in front of you doesn’t need
eight feet of space to be comfortable enough to get a good stream going. The
bathroom lines at the United Center in Chicago are wrapping from one set of
bathrooms to the other! In 2023, resolve to move into the bathroom. Ladies, I’m not sure if this is a problem in
your bathrooms, too, but you should resolve to make sure it doesn’t happen in
2023!
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| Dawes live in San Diego, CA. |
Look Up
Last year I was obsessed with averaging 12,000 steps a day.
Some nights before bed when I needed to pull the car into the driveway, I would
take a short walk a few houses down the street just to get some extra steps.
Some of those nights I ended up staring up at the sky and if I was lucky and it
was clear out, I’d stare at the stars for a few minutes. I have vivid memories
of being outside at night in high school and staring up at the stars,
contemplating life (or just wondering why Amy Norris didn’t like me as much as
I liked her). I don’t do that anymore (staring at the stars or wondering about
why Amy Norris didn’t like me as much as I liked her). In 2023, let’s all
resolve to look up at the stars and pondering our place in this vast universe. For
a brief moment, the fact that Amy Norris doesn’t like us as much as we like her
will seem insignificant. Feel free to substitute whatever burden you are
carrying for Amy Norris. (My youngest got a telescope for Christmas this year. We've had all of twelve minutes of clear skies since Christmas so right now it's just a piece of furniture, but he can't wait to see some stars. One of these nights. Maybe).
And that’s all there is. Thanks for reading and if you are still on target with any of your New Year's resolutions, congratulations. If you are on target for all of them, you are probably lying.
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